Day 19 - POP!

"Hey, MOM!!! Watch me!"

There's Cole using a float to hover upside down in the pool. He thinks this is the most clever thing ever!

"Did you see me??!!"

Do other people's kids just happily float on pool toys, using them in the fashion they were designed, never popping them, just FLOATING on them?? Because, my children don't.

They make forts out of floats. They hang upside down under water in floats. They fling themselves onto floats and skim down the length of the pool (sometimes results in popping). They all bounce up and down in floats to see it they can make a wave of pool water swamp the deck (sometimes rough enough to pop a float). They stack up 2 or 3 ring floats and jump or dive into the 'hole' (been known to pop a float). They try to stand up and surf on a float. They pile as many kids as they can onto one float to sink it. They make water slides into the pool with a long float and the garden hose (potential popping situation). They tried to set Blackie Chan adrift on a float (POP!). See a theme here ? ..POP!

We took a break from popping pool floats to make cupcakes. The boys made 'America' cupcakes and Carlie helped me with the flowers.

Silly Mom made mini cupcakes. You know, the little ones that you can pop in your mouth in one bite. Just getting them cooled and decorated before the kids had eaten half of them was a major effort. The rest of the day someone was grabbing one, popping the whole thing in his or her mouth and looking like a frosting covered chipmunk as they denied taking another cupcake with their cheeks puffed out full of sugary goodness.

Mom turns her back, kid grabs mini cupcake, kid pops whole cupcake in mouth. POP!

Day 18 - How does your garden grow?

I'm longing for some big juicy Hanover tomatoes! I can't find any tomatoes here in Florida that taste the same.

In Virginia, growing a garden full of tomatoes was a piece of cake. Plant 'em, water 'em and pick 'em. Here in Florida, it's not so easy.

Maybe it is the weather, or the soil, or the light, or the chemicals all the neighbors' lawn services spread around for chinch bugs (which is just fun to say! Try it. Say "chinch bugs.")

I gave up on the few little plants I had around here in the flower beds and planters. I planted them back at the end of February. Yep, 4 months and no tomatoes to show for all of my hard work.

I've watered and watered and watered them. The irrigation system waters them and we have rain showers regularly to water them but they just did not grow. They fried in the sun. The plants are small, spindly, brown and only had a couple of blooms. I stopped worrying about them and then, a tiny tomato finally started to form on the burnt-up branch of one wretched looking plant like some sort of defiant, mutant mini-tomato. It is only 2" long and oddly shaped.

So, today I was able to pick a red, ripe tomato. It is definitely NOT a Hanover tomato. It is, sadly, a Florida tomato.

Day 17 - Fun with friends

The kids were all tired and grumpy from their big sleep-over last night. They played on the Skateboard ramp 0' Awesomeness for hours, had a night swim and later, toasted wienies and marshmallows over the patio fire pit. No one was injured or maimed during any activity!

So, it was a rousing success!!

Today the same gang of kids spent a good hour standing on the edge of the road watching cars run over a squished snake and squealing "EEEWWWW!!!" each time they could see its guts come out!
Good summertime fun with friends!

Day 16 - And so it goes..

A big day packed full of fun! Well, fun for me. I ran off to the thrift store to find quality vintage goodies while the kids hung out with Dad.

As I was browsing the linens, looking for a treasure I overheard this very loud, brassy-voiced, one-sided conversation into a cell phone..

"..so then I GO, " He what?"

and she GOES, "Uh, huh"

and then I GO, "Oh no, he didn't"

and THEN she GOES, "yes, he did"

and so I GO, "What?!".."

It was like a comedy skit and after about the 20th or so 'GOES' and 'GO' I wanted so badly to walk over and say it is "SAID" or "SAYS" or even "ASKED" but it is not "GOES"!!!

Maybe that conversation could have been..

"..so then I, astonished, ASKED, "He what?"

and she coyly insinuated with an, "Uh, huh" that he had indeed done it.

I was so shocked that I exclaimed, "Oh no, he didn't!"

She then confirmed that, "Yes, he did."

and I, still in disbelief, automatically replied, "What?!"

GOES??? Go??? How about trying out these other words - whispered, gasped, squawked, yelled, groaned, bleated, interjected, or chortled (thanks to hubby for that gem!)?

So I came home, still reeling from the reckless overuse of the verb "GO" that I had just encountered, to find a house full of kids. Apparently we are having a big sleep-over event tonight. Later, David ran out to the 'store' and came back with ..

THE SUPER COOL SKATEBOARD RAMP O' AWESOMENESS!!! (Thank you, Garrick & Becky!)

The kids were so excited! Everyone was a little intimidated to try a big trick but they still think just having a ramp is cool. I'm sure by Monday it will be THE SUPER COOL SIT ON TOP OF THE RAMP CLUBHOUSE SPOT O' AWESOMENESS. They will just sit up there and look cool!

And then Dawson will GO, "This ramp is awesome."

And then Carlie GOES, "Uh, huh."

And then Cole GOES, "What??!"

And then Dawson will GO, "Yes, it is!"

Day 15 - Another day, another snake

Another sunshiney day in the land o' sunshine! No rain or storms in sight for a change. Perfect pool weather..

The kids did their flying kaplooshes into the pool and then came the now familiar screams..

"MOM!! There's a snake!!!"

"A SNAKE!!!"


This time the snake was playing peek-a-boo with Gray Mysterio and Blackie Chan. Gray Mysterio was really trying hard to hold the little snakie-poo down by the tail. Snakie was having no part of it. He was desperate to hide under the bag of charcoal.

I finally rescued the poor snake from the evil clutches of the formidable Gray Mysterio, but it involved a lot of screaming, cussing, pleading and begging.

"Please, please, go that way snake.", as I prodded it with the leopard print broom that I got from Lowe's.

"EEEK!!!!!!!!!!!" "Holy SH*T!!!!" "GO THAT WAY!!!!!", as it moved towards me instead of the screen door and I run the opposite way.

"OUT!!!OUT!!!!!!!!!! You, DAMN snake!!!", as it headed back toward the charcoal hide-away instead of the door! I jumped around swiping at the reptile with my leopard print broom, wearing my leopard print swimsuit and swearing like a sailor. I know who the neighbors will be talking about this week!

The kids had a few giggles at my expense but the snake was ejected from the pool area and Gray Mysterio was left looking puzzled as he batted at the charcoal bag.

Day 14 - It's a zoo in here

Yes, that is right - Day 14. There is no day 13. I skipped 13 because I'm extremely superstitious and I already have Blackie Chan, the all black cat who climbs on the roof. I don't need any other bad luck stuff around here.

As I've said, the best part of summer vacation is sleeping late..

I haven't been able to experience that particular joy yet this summer, but I'm still sure it exists.


Today I blissfully dreaming, something about winning the lottery or a big prize when I hear an abrupt ,

"MOM, where's my DSI?".

Huh? Your what??? and why I am I supposed to know where it is. "Go ask your brother."

There, I solved that crisis, so back to sleep I go. Good mom award for me.

I was just dozing back off into that especially deep sleep, back into my dream, just about to explain why I selected the exact numbers I did. They were ..


"MOM!!! They really do exist! The BEAV-COON is real!!!"

Huh? the what?? Oh, no brother is awake!


I open my bleary eyes to see my youngest child jumping up and down and holding his fingers in circles around his super-wide-open eyes.


"They have BIG eyes like THIS!!! SEEEE!!!!" He yells excitedly.

Huh?

"And big buck teeth like this!" says this jumping, bouncing boy as he protrudes his front teeth over his bottom lip.

" AND, there are really LIGERS, ZeDONKS, GIRAFFE-IPPOS and TIG-ONKEYS!"

Really? I mean, REALLY???

"AND THEY GO LIKE THIS!!!!" he yells as he jumps onto the bed and starts making loud "OOO, OOO, AAAA,OOOO" monkey noises as he bounces.

Stop that!!

"See, big eyes LIKE THIS!!!" he says again as he leans right into my half-asleep face until our noses touch and I can see how big his BEAV-COON finger-rimmed eyes are.
Get out of my face!!

Go do that somewhere else! There are no Beav-coons or Tig-onkeys or even Giraffe-ippos!

Ok, I solved that animal circus crisis. If I try really hard I might be able to go back to my lottery dream and hear the winning numbers! Almost there, just dozing off and I'm about to say the exact numbers I chose ..

"WHIRRRRRRRRRRRZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!".

Weed trimmer.
Followed by zero -turn lawn mower, followed by a lot of other annoying sounds. The neighbor's lawn service is right on time at 8:30 am. I might as well get up and feed BEAV-COON boy some giant waffles.

On a motivating note, the other boy REALLY, I mean REALLY needs an expensive Tony Hawk skateboard, so he was even willing to try his hand at being our own discount lawn service today. He charges $5.00 but at least he works afternoons, not mornings.

Day 12 - Scenic views

Christine sent some scenic photos from China, recently. People were enjoying the beach and the rocky coastline. It looked so different from the scenery around here.


I noticed these handy-dandy, informative signs are now cluttering up our scenic views around the neighborhood. I'm not sure if it is our homeowners association fees at work or the golf course that is behind them.


In all the time I've lived here in this golf course community, where every other house has an in-ground swimming pool, it has never occurred to me to take a dip in the pond. I've never seen any one else cooling off on a hot summer afternoon in a slimy, algae coated puddles that we call "golf course lakes" either. Not one person swimming, wading, splashing, bouncing on floats, playing Marco Polo or chicken fights in the deep part. Not one.

Good thing we have signs up now just in case my children suddenly decide to take a dip with that cute little Gary the Gator we have out back instead of our nice fresh pool. Now, I can so "No, it is against the rules." instead of my standard reply,

"ARE YOU CRAZY!!?? There are gators in

there!!".

I've always refrained from swimming on the golf course for the obvious reason; because I figured cute little Gary's mom or dad looks about like this..

Day 11 - Chasing Rainbows

Another day, another rainbow.

After the afternoon storms roll through we are having rainbows and double rainbows each day. Tonight Carlie and Cole both begged me to drive them "over there, across the lake to those people's back yard." They are convinced that the rainbow ends right there.

We tried to explain it again but gave up when they PROMISED to share the pot of gold. So we said, said "Jump in the truck!". Off we went on a family trip to the end of the rainbow. Because of the way our neighborhood road circles around the rainbow seemed to be all over the place. Cole said, "Wow! Rainbows move quick!". It faded away before we could pinpoint the exact location of the end and the big pot o' gold.

We hit the skate park again today. It was as miserably hot as last week and Dawson took a nasty fall. His knee is raw but he's still begging for a $100 Birdhouse skateboard that he NEEDS.

Keep chasing that rainbow, kid.

Day 10 - Pool games

Sunny and hot. Perfect pool weather.

The kids enjoy pool floats with wild abandon. Running, jumping leaps are taken off the side of the pool onto stacks of floats or onto a single float that skims along the water's surface to the other end of the pool. Yanking floats out from under your sibling, flipping your sibling over and bashing your sibling in the head with a float 'on accident' are all fun pool games.

I enjoy a single pool float with cup holders in a still, quiet pool.

Today I snuck out to the pool while the kids were watching a movie. Getting onto a pool float is a terrible, undignified experience involving teetering and wobbling, weird pool float sounds and swimsuit adjustments. Getting off is no piece of cake either. I imagine my neighbors are watching and taking bets on how many times I'm going to slip off before I finally get myself perched perfectly on my flotation device. I have finally fine-tuned getting on and off with out getting my hair wet, getting pool water on my sunglasses, spilling my drink, or drenching my true crime book but it is still not a pretty sight.

Once I am on the float and carefully holding the perfect, skillfully balanced position to prevent capsizing I drift along imagining myself in some far off exotic place with warm breezes and rustling palm fronds - well actually, it's Florida so I have warm breezes and rustling palms going on already.

Today just as I'm lost in thought in the very middle of the pool I hear a far off voice say something that sounds slightly like "snake". That's weird. Did one of the children just say..

"MOM! THERE'S A SNAKE IN THE POOL!!"

Snake! In the pool?!!!

Dignity be damned! I hit the water in a big bubbling splash, floundering around blindly for the side or the steps because my face is covered by my dripping wet hair and my sunglasses are gone. While I drag myself over the edge of the pool to lay gasping and sputtering on the concrete my book bobs by. All the while I imagined an anaconda sized venomous snake right behind me about to bite my butt because my swimsuit needs adjustment.

The kids are just staring at me like I'm nuts. "Look at that cute little snake in the pool, Mom."

Carlie decided to name him Fluffy.

Day 9 - Oddly the same

"It's hot."

"There's nothing to do."

"I'm bored."

"There's nothing good to eat around here."

Ah, the sound of my 3 little lambs enjoying summer to the fullest! Of course, it is hot. It's summer in Florida. Florida = HOT.

How can you be bored with a pool, bikes, skateboards, scooters, video games, cable tv and a dozen little friends around the neighborhood to play with you?

And.. there is good stuff to eat around here. I just hid it all so there's still good stuff to eat when I get hungry.

I was glad to hear from Christine this week. She and Ralph are settling in at the hospital in China, for his medical treatments. Strangely, Christine sent me an email today that says..

"It's hot and smoggy here."

"The days are dragging by. There's nothing to do."

and..

" We should have packed more food. The food is terrible here."

Hmmm... that sounds oddly familiar.

Day 8 - Rainy Season

When life gives you rain, make rainbows and I love Justin Beiber artwork.

I like rainy days. For a little while, there is a fresh new look to the same old things around here.

But who would want to take in nature's show when you can stay inside complaining about how bored you are and drawing hearts around Justin Beiber's head?

Day 7 - What Leprechauns do for a living

There was no peace and tranquility this morning..

7:34 am "Mom, are you up yet?"

No, leave me alone.

5 minutes later "Mom, when are you getting up?"

Not right now, leave me alone.

3 minutes after that "When are you getting up??"

WHY???

1 minute later "Now, are you up?"

NO!!!!

2 more minutes later "Mom, when you get up will you make giant (Belgian) waffles?"

Muttering something unintelligible as I roll over..

while I hear "Yay!! Mom's gonna make giant waffles!!!!!!!"

I am sure I DID NOT say I would make waffles, but obviously sleep is out of the question so giant waffles it is.

Rainy season seems to have arrived. By afternoon each day, the skies fill with gray clouds and distant thunder is booming. Today those afternoon storms resulted in a rainbow just before sunset. Cole was convinced that the leprechaun's pot of gold is in that house across the lake.

The last time we saw a rainbow Cole wanted us to drive over to the end of it and get the pot of gold. We tried to explain that the end of the rainbow is far off and not 'just right over there'.

He huffily told us, "UGH! You just don't believe what leprechauns do for a living!"

Day 6 - Frugal baking

Today we are making the coolest cookies ever - STAR WARS cookies! These may also be the most expensive cookies EVER.

Granulated sugar - $2.15
Meringue powder - $5.00

Real butter - $3.49

Confectioner's sugar - $1.85
Cool new icing colors - $3.69
Williams-Sonoma Star Wars Cookie cutters - $19.99
Gas to drive to Williams-Sonoma store - $12.00
Other great things I saw at the mall while going to Williams-Sonoma - $38.79

Luckily, we had flour and eggs and other ingredients on hand!

The kids had a blast, made a mess, and ate half of the end result before I could get it all cleaned up.

6 hours and $86.96 later we had a few dozen of the coolest, lopsided, mangled, sugar coated Galactic characters EVER!

Day 5 - Sweating to the Ollies

What sounds better on a blazing hot 95 degree Florida afternoon than standing smack dab in the middle of a big slab of concrete?

Standing there with two little kids who don't want to be there and are whining to go home, of course.

Holy Moly!! It's hot out there! Who's bright idea was it to go to the skate park?

Standing was the only thing we could do. The benches and ramps were too hot to touch, much less sit on. I learned that the hard way.. by burning a big stripe across the back of my thighs sitting on the metal rimmed bench (well it looked like a bench, but come to think of it who puts a bench in the middle of a skate park and puts metal around the edges?). OUCH!!

The two little ones crawled under a ramp to hide in the shade on the only 'cool' piece of concrete they could find.

Dawson happily kickflipped and ollied until his face was as red as the backs of my legs and he dripping sweat.

{Note to self: There's a reason we had the whole skate park to ourselves today. Remember that next time the boy asks if we can go to the skate park.}

Day 4 -Sounds of Summer

The best part of summer vacation is sleeping late and just taking your time to get started in the morning, enjoying the peaceful summer mornings - the distant hum of a lawn mower, the birds chirping, the patter of little squirrel feet running across the screened in pool.


A distant clink clink sound as the trash truck empties Ryan's mom's trash.

Today is trash day.

So there's no sleeping late and peace. Just a gigantic, deafening "CLINK,CLINK, CLUNK" rattling sound as the trash truck empties my cans. This is because Ryan's mom is secretly putting her beer bottles in my trash can so that she will not have loud clinking trash and the neighbors won't talk about her. I'm on to her evil plan! She thinks I don't know but I can hear the difference in my good ol' American beer bottles and her Canadian ones.

And the birds aren't chirping here.
They are honking. BIG, LOUD honking, rasping trumpeting sounds that sandhill cranes make. These overgrown chickens sound like an out of tune trumpet blasting at the volume of an airhorn. They become very aggitated when they see my cats in the screened area. They blast away and flap their wide wings. This does not aggitate my cats. Blackie Chan and Gray Mysterio barely seem to notice.

And the patter of little feet running across the screen top is Blackie Chan and Gray Mysterio! They are climbing the outside of the pool enclosure and getting on the roof! They run around and chase each other across the screen and the roof of the house!


Between the CLINKING CLUNKING trash cans and the cats racing around the roof, I know who the neighbors are really talking about.

Day 3 - Cannon kaplooshes

Christine and Ralph left on their big adventure to China today. I'm anxious to hear all about it and to read their blog updates on Ralph's progress.In their honor I think we will order some Chinese take out tonight!

We spent a lazy day in the pool and grilling out. The kids worked on perfecting their "cannon kaplooshes". SPLASH!!! These high flying jumps are usually targeted to splash Mom or Dad right in the face. Woe to the poor adult who actually thinks of relaxing on a float in the pool. KAPLOOSH!!!!

We stole the community grill back from Ryan's mom. It is a highly coveted item - rusty, missing the handle, wobbly wheels - one of which is held on by a piece of coat hanger wire. Highly coveted item. We call dibs!

By nightfall the pool was full of screaming, kaplooshing kids from the neighborhood. SPLASH!! Good summertime fun.

Day 2 -Sinister seagulls

We thought we would spend some quality family time together today, since David will be away on Father's Day weekend. So we packed up the super cool daytripping transporter (my minivan) and headed out for the beautiful Gulf of Mexico. Mainly my choice, because I'm convinced it will be a big tar pit in the near future.

Of course we were pretty psyched that we got ready, packed and out the door EARLY - for us. We only made it about 3 miles before we had to turn back for something we forgot. Then we had the usual stops ..

*fast food - breakfast

*gas station

*thrift store - bought a handy dandy large Coleman cooler for $1
*Insulin shot - to offset all the Doritos and twix bars from the gas station

*car acting funny - turned out to be nothing
*Bathroom

*Albertson's - ended up filling the handy dandy thrift store cooler with cheap MEAT! Yummy steaks, shrimp and pork roasts. And lots of ice.

*bathroom again

*car indicator light coming on - still on, we'll worry about that one tomorrow

and were able to cover the whole 70 miles in just under 4 1/2 hours! Great time for us! We almost beat our record of 4 hours and 8 minutes.

We staked a claim on some seaside property on Honeymoon Island and hit the water! It was so warm! Like bathwater. Wonderfully blue and clear too. If you've never been to Honeymoon Island I highly recommend it. It has something for everyone - white sand beaches, plentiful seashells, snack shop, bike rentals, birds, seagulls and my favorite - RATTLESNAKES! Something for everyone.

We did not see any rattlesnakes today, but there are signs warning that rattlesnakes are common on the island. The signs alone are enough to make me panic. I still have itchy ant bites. No way do I want a rattlesnake bite.

We were however, besieged by sinister seagulls! A whole flock descended on poor Carlie as she ate a piece of chicken. They were trying to grab the food from her hands! She was scared, started screaming and running around in circles while the whole flock chased her and people were staring & pointing. The more she ran around crying,trying to get away - the more she flailed her arms with the chicken in hand and the more it excited the seagulls!

The evil beach birds won. She finally dropped the chicken leg and one snatched it up. David and I decided that was their sneaky master plan. Scare the kids until they drop the good stuff.

Seagulls do not seem to like strawberries. They prefer greasy fried chicken and Doritos, just like my boys. I was able to enjoy fresh, ripe red berries without a single ruffled feather.

Don't these look delicious? If you are in Clearwater and you stop in Albertson's buy the berries and skip the fried chicken.

Day 1- Pop-tarts and pain

The first thing Cole said to me this morning was "It's finally summer!". He said it with the same joy and excitement that he would have for the arrival of Christmas day or Easter Morning. Yes, Cole it is FINALLY summer vacation.

Today is the first day of summer vacation. No morning rush, no car drop- off line, no lunches to pack, no uniforms to find, no agendas to sign, no car pick-up line. The first day of vacation to sleep late and enjoy the peaceful & tranquil summer morning and the sound of my kids fighting over who called "dibs" on the last Pop-tart.

"I called it!"

"No, I called it first!"

" I called it last night!"

"I called the last one in the box when Mom bought them!"

"MOM!!!"

Calling dibs on stuff is a very important game of strategy in this house. Everything is up for grabs and you need to be the first to call dibs. You also need to be fast. If we are just returning home you need to race out of the truck and throw yourself against the front door, crowding around the doorknob until Mom or Dad unlocks the door. Then be the first one to squeeze past your brother and sister, slamming the door wide open and into the wall, run into the house and call dibs on something!

The last Pop-tart, the computer, the good game controller, the tv, the best chair, the only blue popsicle, the Gatorland cup, the bathroom, the leftover pizza, the favorite pool float, the goggles that work, and any other highly coveted item are all fair game. Even the cats are not exempt from being "called". Someone will shout "I call Blackie Chan!" as they all race in the door.

RUN AWAY, Blackie Chan, RUN AWAY!

It is a good thing that as soon as I woke up I called dibs on the good pool float, the only chaise lounge, the Aquatica beach towel (highly coveted item!) and the Mojito mixer. Blackie Chan is still up for grabs .

I went outside to escape the inevitable "That's not fair" and "You always let him have everything" whining and saw this little gator in the lake. He's just a little shrimp of a gator compared to most of the ones around here, maybe 4 feet long. He keeps hanging around so he needs a name. I think that I will call the little guy Gary- after Gary Coleman.

So there's Gary the Gator.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Unfortunately, while I was snapping Gary Gator's glamour shot I became a victim of some vicious fire ants. OUCH!! They hurt and they are sneaky little devils.

So, if by chance you are standing barefoot in the grass taking pictures of an alligator runt and you see a spot of something that looks like this, do not stand on it. Do not stand in it. Do not stand by it or near it. You are a potential victim.

RUN AWAY, victim, RUN AWAY!

We are out of Pop-tarts and I'm in pain. Time to hit the pool.